I have many labels on me, some of which I like and some of which I don't like.
Because of these labels, sometimes I forget who I am, but luckily someone helps me find myself again.
Like many people, after accumulating thoughts for several years, I always want to find a place to express them, or at least record them. I don't want to embarrass myself publicly, but I secretly hope to be discovered by someone with the same passion and make a new friend. If my words help someone, I will be especially happy.
Literature?#
I started writing novels in junior high school, around 2013. At first, my writing was not good, and I was not good at describing and planning plots. I preferred to focus on "breakthroughs and innovations" in terms of techniques. For example, I was inspired by the song "Bacterial Contamination" and wrote a novel with the same name. The entire story was presented through dialogue between characters. At that time, I thought this was a great "idea," but looking back now, I realize that my skills were lacking. Maybe I could imagine the scenes in my mind when brainstorming, but to readers, it was incomprehensible. I was immersed in this novel writing style and neglected to improve my basic skills, which resulted in little progress. However, I still admire my past self. Perhaps a story can truly be presented through dialogue alone, but it definitely requires a solid foundation.
During that time, I also wrote several passages that I still find impressive. For example, I once wrote a few hundred words describing the expression, actions, and thoughts of a taxi driver after dropping off a passenger. The entire passage consisted of only one sentence without any commas. I wanted to use this long sentence to convey the driver's fluidity in his actions. Later, my classmates said I was somewhat like Han Han, but I wasn't happy about it. I said, "I'm different from him. He is talented, but I don't want to follow his path. We have completely different interpretations of literature. If possible, I would prefer it if you compared me to Joyce."
My academic journey has been more difficult than most people's, and most of my novels before college were lost. If I could find them, perhaps I could turn those hundreds of thousands of words into a black history and publish them as third-rate online literature.
After my first year of high school, I didn't write novels often. At that time, for some reason, I became particularly fascinated with Baudelaire and his crazy and bizarre writing style. Following Baudelaire's guidance, my thoughts became more extreme, developing into the belief that "anything recognized by mainstream culture is ugly, and anything evil and distorted is unappreciated beauty." However, unfortunately, I do not have Baudelaire's rich experiences, his unrestrained writing style, or his ability to manifest his ideas through practice. Although time has proven that my thoughts at that time were paranoid, even now, I still firmly believe that beauty exists beyond what is commonly recognized by the masses. Perhaps one day I can inherit Baudelaire's legacy and write a thick book like Hegel to interpret my own aesthetics.
As I grow older, the detour and the main road finally converge, and my contemplation of life gradually intertwines with my contemplation of literature. With a critical eye, I reevaluate my past self and realize that the impulsive articles I wrote actually contained profound expressions that I was unaware of at the time. After accumulating some shallow experiences, I revisit the classics I have read before, and the image of literature in my eyes becomes more concrete.
I want to write novels again.
Currently, I have many ideas and plan to write them somewhere. I don't want to serialize them on platforms like Qidian, and I don't want to make money from them. I just want to have complete control over my own stories. Initially, I used Hexo to build my GitHub pages. However, my classmates found it slow to load and it was inconvenient to publish. After researching various options, I have decided to do most of my updates here.
Due to the heavy workload of my studies, I can only find time to write. I also want to organize my previous writings to my satisfaction. The novels I have already planned include "Successor," "Shuihua," and "Yaoyi Record." "Successor" and "Shuihua" were planned a long time ago, but I have never been satisfied with what I wrote, so I plan to start from scratch. "Yaoyi Record" is a recent project, which includes "Zhen Ji Nan Yi Jian Wen," "Fu Tian Ren Yan Shi Mo," "Huan Du," and an extra chapter called "Yaowang Fu Shang Shi." If I have inspiration in the future, I may add new chapters.
Chemical Engineering?#
Yes, my undergraduate major is chemical engineering, and I plan to work in the chemical industry in the future. My thoughts may differ from most people, as I chose this major based on my own will. Chemical engineering is one of the upstream industries in the national industry. Many times, when the chemical industry is unhealthy, other industries are also affected. It is also a key focus in the recent "supply-side structural reform."
With the passage of time and the continuous development of chemical technology and economy in our country, the outdated production capacity left over from the last century will continue to be eliminated. In order to meet market demand, new production lines, new technologies, and new investments are constantly being added to the chemical industry. Therefore, I believe that in the next 20 years, it is very feasible to engage in chemical design, process control, automation, energy-saving technology, fieldbus technology, simulation and meaningful digital twins, enterprise compliance, and environmental assessment. Although it may not make me rich, it will be enough to support my family.
Of course, I don't want to be a frontline worker (if it really comes to that, I will definitely run away 😂). In order to shine in the chemical industry and change its current situation, I continue to deepen my knowledge of various chemical subjects. While learning, I will also share what I have learned here. Although I am still a insignificant student, I still want to contribute my little effort to help others. I also hope that experienced professionals in the chemical field and students like me who are still learning can have extensive discussions together!
Anything else?#
Of course, there is, but I'm not comfortable sharing it now. After all, I am currently nothing in other fields, and I haven't had much practical experience.
As I continue to learn, this self-introduction will become longer and longer. In the end, I will have to write a shorter "about me" and put this article as a casual piece somewhere else!